Surviving 3rd Semester in Architecture

Alhamdulillah, I survived the second attempt of Architectural Design 1. Though there are other subjects I didn't score well but I still feel relief the fact that my study plan isn't interrupted this time around.

There are many things I want to say as honestly I'm really on the edge right now. Sigh.

Looking at other people who are moving on with their lives, I can't help but feeling a little bit envy. Well, this isn't news to anyone that's close to me. Though my best friend has reminded me how she had gone through the same thing over and over again but I still can't help feeling restless over the fact that I'm still here.

In this very university.

Sometimes I wonder if there are other reason why God still put me in here.

Why did I still want to continue my studies here in this uni? Was being familiar with this university a very big concern during the time I made my decision to stay here? I don't even remember about that.

After doing a lot of thinking (pulling out me legal pads and whatnot LOL) I arrived to a conclusion that I have to look for something that can make my life here in this uni less suffering.

yes, babe! You should've furthered your studies here!

But what could that be? 

November. Oh, November

Wow. Look at that time. It's 5:49 in the morning. I really did it this time. I was updating my other blogs, ended up watching some stupid videos, downloading some music, updating Facebook and etc. etc.

It's been a while since I last spent over 5 hours in front of computer. Feeling 18 all over again. LOL
Having a 20-inch all-in-one isn't helping at all. Guys, please avoid buying big screens. Seriously.

Anyway, 4 days ago, was a special day where I once made a pact to myself about few years ago, and finally come to terms that I'm finally okay with the fact that letting go of someone who once occupied at least a quarter of your deep memories, IS possible.

Wow. It's been a very long time. For the very first time in my life, I didn't dream about it the moment I had that thought. I only remembered about it like few hours before that day ended.

Funny how I used to anticipate that date for the past  years.

I re-watched one of my all-time favourite Japanese drama, Last Friends and I gotta admit, there are just things that we can't let go in life but we have to because of most other things in life all are begging us to let it go, and move on.

Speaking of which, for the first time too, life in uni is good. No, I'm not kidding. I used to suffer a lot. Funny, right? How I used to do quite well in school back then. School was fun. But it seemed that I failed to realize about responsibilities and whatnot earlier than I should and ended up dragging my uni years.

Oh, yes. Convocation Week is damn next week, and every day for the past week, this campus is a little bit more crowded than usual. People are taking pictures at places that I don't even think it's possible to take (and at some weird angle, too).

So, I guess I'll just remove myself from an environment that'll just make me all jelly and wanna kill myself.

Dad will definitely gonna nag me next time his friend's son or daughter is graduating this year, or his friends are making trips to KL just to be at their son and daughters' convocations.

How I wish things are going the way I want.

But again, that's life. I'm sure this is some kind of test that God is giving me, telling me that He's watching and want to see how well I'm handling myself.

Alright, I guess that's all for this month, I think. Right now we're in our major design project. One project that's gonna determine the rest of this academic year.

I'll see you guys next post.

Wassalam.

Not So Alone in Tanah Semenanjung.

It was as planned that my big brother has finally been transferred to Labuan and hence my sis in-law and of course my beloved nephew, Adam Aizuddin.

After seven years living on this side of Malaysia, for the first time I have no other immediate family living near with me. T___________T

Of course, I have my uncle and aunts and the nearest one is living in Cheras, KL but then of course with my cousin who's gonna have SPM by the end of this year, plus both of them who're always working plus my busy schedule that won't allow me to go back and forth of their house within  day, it's seems impossible for me to visit them every other weekend. ...and I hate changing trains to begin with. Sigh.

Well, maybe I'm okay with it if I'm not too busy with 10 000 things. No kidding! Even right now I'm just taking a break from writing up design concepts, design development and whatnot...

But thank Allah cause I'm flying home next week for Eidul Adha. I'll have to sit down with my ESS 2 group mates and have discussion on our next assignments and go back with empty head. Though I won't be enjoyin much of the Eid (cause I don't eat meat, duh) but I'll definitely going to spend ample of time with my family. No architecture stuffs for merely 4 days should be more than enough.

Anyway, I should get back to work. Ugh! 2 and a half years of this should kill me.

kidding.

Until next time,

Wassalam.

Life is full of mystery.

Well, everybody knows that. 

While I was hanging out with first year students, some of them were really surprised when I told them I once have a life in Kuantan. 

To be honest, I don't really know what to say if people ask me questions like "Why are you in architecture?" or "since you already have experiences in Biomedical Science, why don't you choose a related course like health sciences, maybe?" 

All I can say that things happen for reason and that's all. We plan things for the future but then who knows what Allah plans for us. 

If I choose to go to Matriculation Labuan instead of CFS, IIUM, will I be in a different university right now?

Who knows what happen if I didn't change from Engineering back when I was in CFS? Will I be graduating with my friends last year? 

What if I didn't choose to leave Kuantan, will I be with my best friend today?

So what I'm trying to say is, if you guys ever in a situation like me, when you had to choose different paths in life in the future, just one thing you guys need to remember. 

Just focus on whatever you have in front of you. 

Stop contemplating with the past. It's all gone now. You're here. In the present. What matter is your future. 

So if you think you're not happy with what you're doing right now? Why wait?

The time is now. Do all things that can make you happy and close to what you believe in. 

Should I Or Should I Not?

It's been awhile since I last updated this blog.

Well, as I only have been updating "Live Your Life to the Fullest" and "Light Up My Soul"...

Anyway, the last entry was... wow. 6 months ago? To you guys who've been reading my blog; I was quite surprised to see the stats actually, I really appreciate it. Thank you very much. Just leave comments if you guys want to. Sorry for removing some really personal comments though. Hehe

For the past six months of my life, so many things happened, of course. First studio was really crazy. I have gained great companions along the way. Up to the point where we even contact each other during the semester breaks. Yep! Though it's been only 4 months we know each other, we kinda attached to each other very well. Haha

The semester break was nice. Really. Now that we have built a small office nearby our house, it's so easy to operate things rather than we have to back and forth from the town nearby as dad's office is located there. Dad's gonna officially move his things probably in this upcoming months. Mom too.

There's also a plan where dad gonna built a new house for us. Us here only me, mom and my younger brother as he gonna let my big bro live in our old house. When he retired from air force in 5 years time.

What else? Oh. About the entry's topic.

Should I or Should I Not?

I was thinking to actually take Japanese lessons. Like some sort of introduction before I really going to take a real Japanese Language Proficiency Test later on. I need to at least pass N2 before I could I actually apply to Japanese university.

So, I'm gonna use the next 3 years to study the language, aiming to further my study there.

Well, that's my plan for now.

That's what I've been thinking recently. I'm tired to think about what going to happened in the next 5 years, 10 years already. I'll think about that later.

My best friend is right. Totally.

Maybe it's time for me to think about me. I should move on. I guess it's time to let go of that person, too. I'm talking about a person who I have been thinking about for the past 7 years.

I feel so lightless when I finally come to term to that. It's been really stuffy so I guess that's probably the reason why.

Since there's no possibility for us being together. Who knows what's gonna happen in near future but as for right now, I think I'm just gonna live with the fact that I'm ready to let him go.

Huh. We're not even together before this. Yeah. I guess it's really weird to keep on waiting for someone that'll never come, right?

So, yeah. 2013 is gonna be a great year.

Now, I'm really free.

One More Week

After we had a little gathering last night, me and mum sent my big bro, my sis in-law and our most beloved little Adam to the airport.

We went to the Sri Rohayu cafe nearby just to hang out before their boarding time.

... Probably just to distract myself from the fact that Adam is going back to KL first, I went for a walk.

This is one of the things why I love my hometown. To be able to see this is just effortless. Beautiful, isn't it?

Dad has to settle some stuffs so he can't make it to the airport. So, yeah. It's just us.

Well, we went back home right after sending them off. No mood to do just about anything. 

Alright then. I guess I'm gonna hit the bad early (way earlier than usual) tonight. 

See you guys next entry. Tsk. T_T