Sunday, March 16, 2014

Looking Back

I have to admit, after living for about 8 years far from my family, I feel like as I'm on the edge whenever someone asked me about my feelings all this time. 

Truth is, I've always want to come home and just live a simple life. 

Staying at home, being just a regular kampung girl. Gathering with some girls laughing with me at malam badak on Saturday nights and having occasional shopping spree at KK while looking forward to social gatherings in the village. 

... I'm not saying that's all what typical village girls are doing but... I was like that.. at least in my teenage years. 

It's just that during those times, I feel so carefree and.. happy. 

I've noticed that whenever I come home, some of my relatives were like talking about my fashion sense and whatnot... saying I should have been wearing this and that... instead of this and that... pointing out why I don't even wear makeups... sigh. I don't know that living in KL means I have to be on pointy stilettos, wearing the latest fashion item, know where the local celebs hanging out and put on makeups while shopping for kitchen supplies. Well, I know. Sounds exaggerating, at least the last part.  

I started living in KL when I was just turning 18 and back then I feel I'm going to finish my studies like in just few years and honestly, I'm still not sure whether I'm on the right track or not.

Yep, I feel lost.