Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Love Letter

I've been lying on this comfy bed for almost half an hour but I couldn't sleep... Though I just came back after spending the whole day in the library, I just can't sleep... Though I feel so tired and exhausted... I still can't close my eyes... I hugged Mr. D tightly, but I still feel uncomfortable... So many things in my head but I don't know what am I thinking right now...

I guess there's something is bothering me... I look outside the window, I can't see the moon tonight... I look at the ceiling, trying to search for something to look at... Nothing...

I look at my watch, it's almost midnight... I wonder why I couldn't sleep... Is it because of the final exams? It's possible though...

Snap! I quickly looked at my watch again... It's midnight and it's 11th of November! Now I remember why I just can't stop thinking about you recently... It's your birthday!

We know each other for 5 years already... but I feel like I've known you long before that... On this special day, I would like to wish you a very happy 21st birthday... I wish all the happiness in the world for you... All the best in everything you do... and mostly, I hope that you can get everything that you wished for...

Honestly, though I never said how I actually felt about you, I just want you to know that I do really care about you... Though you can't really tell from the way I look at you...

Do you still remember the first time we talked to each other? I can't forget that day... You refused to help me in Physics, though you were good at it back then... It's the first time I felt so rejected, you know? We never talked again after that day until the day you showed me your drawings to me and I felt so amazed with it...

If you notice, I never talk to any other person like the way I talk to you... Though you never look at me straight to my eyes, that's the thing I like the most about you... When you express your thoughts, you always be honest and selfless... Though you tried so hard like you know all the things in the world... But I always know that you were innocent... You never talked highly about yourself... You always said there are other people who are better than you...

If you ask me, I don't even remember since when I started to like you... I never actually realize the feeling that I had for you is that special... I just thought that the feeling will go away after awhile.. But it didn't... It never did... I thought it's just a simple crush... or I just infatuated... We were in high school... But I don't know why I acted so mature back then...

Now, after all these years... I still can sense your presence here with me... Though you are so far away from me... and all those things that happened back then, I feel like it just happened yesterday...

Truthfully, I always wished that things didn't turned the way like what happened last time...
I always wanted for things that happened between us didn't end like that...

So on this special day, your birthday... I would like to take this day where I finally say to you... and I'm sorry for taking this long to finally to be able say it in front of you...

I Love You... I Miss You... and I Really Need You... E.F. ...



With Love,
NMJ